I’ve been sitting here for a while, thinking about the race and trying to find the words to adequately express what a great experience it was, and how much fun I had, but also that I am tired, and that it was one of the most challenging things I have ever done.

So here we go.

On Thursday, I spent the day messing around online, packing, repacking, and playing with Bo before heading over to Maureen’s at 3:00. We started loading up the car when I realized I’d forgotten my headlamp, so I went back to the house to get it. The funny thing is, I had been standing in the attic earlier, looking at my pack and most of my camping gear thinking, I know there’s something out of here that I need, but I can’t figure out what it is. Duh.

Got the headlamp, forgot my watch for the second time (because I am clearly brilliant), and went back to Maureen’s. We finished loading the car and headed up to Danvers to meet Notey and a bunch of the team Uno members who had already gotten their stuff into the vans and were mostly ready to go. I was the only member of team Dos in the van, and the rest of my team was already up in Hampton Beach, but  Maureen drove and we chatted the rest of the way up. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with her before, but she is cool as hell and I really liked talking with her.

Got to Hampton Beach, checked in, and met up with some of my team. We walked down the street which was pretty quiet by that time and found a place to eat, which was great because I was starving by then and getting tired. I sat with Kris, Shelly (both on my team) and Robert (Kris’ husband and our van driver) at dinner and it was nice to spend some time with them, as they live in San Antonio and I hadn’t seen Kris & Robert in a long time. I hadn’t met Shelly before and she was great. I was feeling really good about being there and being on such a wonderful, supportive team. I knew it would be a good race.

At the hotel I phoned Rob, signed my waiver and talked with captain Jillie, and then crashed. We had to be up and ready to leave for Cannon Mtn at 5:45, so I was anxious to get to bed, although I didn’t end up falling asleep until midnight because I was so wound up.

In the morning we loaded up our van with the food, our bags, and ourselves and hit the road. We made a pit stop for coffee and made it up to Cannon without any delays or disruptions. We met up with the rest of our team, went to the bathroom 800 times, had our team photo taken at the start, and milled around until Beth had to run.

I ran into my old boss, Don, and another former coworker. They seemed surprised to see me, but it was great to run into them. They ended up having a great race and we saw them again a few more times over the next 24 hours.

As we were van #2, we didn’t have to run until a bit later, so we left Cannon and headed down to the transition area where Jillie would be running at around 1:00 PM. Jillie was done before I knew it, and then it was Jenn’s turn, followed by Shelly, then me, and finally Kris.

Van #1 was just a little slower than estimated pace so we all ended up running a little later than planned, and as such, I ended up needing to put on full reflective gear for my first run at 5:15 PM: vest, 2 flashers, and headlamp. Sassy! I started my run in Conway and quickly encountered some tough hills.

While most of the legs in the handbook contained elevation maps, mine didn’t so I really didn’t know what to expect each time I started a run. In some ways, it proved better not to know.  My first run was only 6.3 miles, but it was a tough one. The first part of the course went down a series of busy roads with no shoulder. There was a long, stupid hill that just kept going and going for almost 3 miles. Seriously, I’d run up this winding hill, get to a bend and just sigh because it kept going, or it would level out and then ascend again. Crap.

Finally, when I was really tired and my calves were hurting, I started descending. It was then that I just turned it on and started blasting down the hills for the final mile. Something just clicked and I felt like I was running really well, and my confidence soared. The light was waning as I hit the transition and handed off to Kris, who would run a really tough leg in the coming dark. It was also starting to rain.

Kris had a leg that was really hard and she rocked it, and we met up with the rest of our team in van #1 at the next transition. Melanie was hurting a little, but was in good spirits. Shortly after we handed off, it started pouring on them and I felt really bad about that. I guess at some point, Beth slipped and wound up in a ditch but she was just a little scraped up. The Johns (both ultra runners) also suffered similar injuries on the slick roads, but they sucked it up and got it done.

While they were running, we went out for pizza, but we had to be ready for Jillie to run at around 10:00 PM. At the next hand off, Beth seemed OK in spite of her fall, but I didn’t see the rest of the team.

We were only about 45:00 behind when Jillie started her second leg and the rain had mostly stopped by then. It was cool and getting foggy, and it was really humid, but at least it wasn’t pouring. I was getting really tired at that point and got a Coke Zero down, which helped.

Honestly, the race was a little blurry for me from then on. I can’t really remember the transitions and who did what, who we stopped to cheer for and when. I remember that we all got out to cheer for our runners at each transition in spite of the rain, and that the volunteers were amazing. My favorites were these two high school kids who were directing van traffic in the parking lot. They were clearly excited to have been given permission to stay out all night and were all pumped up. Who’s tired? Nobody’s tired! You’re ready to run!!! Allllll right. You got it. Yeah, you’re ready! Let me get a high five!

Anyway, Jenn did her leg, then Shelly, and then me. Jill had been running a tough route that took her partially on a dirt road, but she said it wasn’t too bad. Jenn had some monster hills. Shelly got to run through a town so that was good. The shoulders were wide and it was well lit.

At my transition, when we were all feeling a little punchy in the wee hours, there was something about a dingo eating my baby and we were all singing The Final Countdown. And then when we were pulling into the parking lot where there were no less than 30 white cargo vans, the parking volunteer guy said to us, “you see that white van down there,” and there was this long pause and we all just lost it. I also told Robert that the mosquitoes up there were “big enough to stand up and f*ck a chicken” and he liked that immensely. We all had a good laugh over that one.

My run started late and I ended up finishing in Belmont just before 3:00 AM, I think. It was, by far, my strongest run of the night. The uphill portions were in the first half of the leg, so I was able to cruise down and finish strong. Also, the road was nice and wide for the first 3 miles so the shoulder was flat, level, and safe to run on. Finally, I got my first Roadkill (where you pass another runner). It was a huge improvement from my first leg where, in the twighlight and on bumpy roads, it was really hard to see, even with a headlamp.

We followed Kris on her 9 miler, playing leapfrog, and she did great, as usual.  Then, we drove to the transition area in Deerfield where we tried to sleep. I did manage to get about a solid hour of sleep and another couple of hours of rest/dozing/whatever. When I crawled out from beneath my blanket it was sunny and bright… and a lot warmer. I made myself a PB & J and ate a banana. We were starting to run out of water so I had a small bottle of Gatorade.

I was feeling off, but I was sure that once I’d woken up and had some coffee my stomach would be OK. Ran into Don again, who looked great and was done running for the day. He said his team was doing well, but that was the last I saw of them. Robert and I stood around for a while, waiting for John T to come in and for Jillie to start. We also ran into one of the team Uno vans and checked in with them. They were doing great but were all just as tired as we were. It was getting really hot and it was only 9:00 AM. Ugh.

We drove into Deerfield and found this great place to get coffee – the Lovin Spoonful cafe. The owner was really nice and talked with us about the race. Their food looked amazing and I was sorry that I’d already eaten, so instead I had a huge cup of coffee and hung out until we were ready to leave.

The day was getting hotter still and we were really running out of water at that point, so we bought a few bottles at the cafe and started trying to conserve as much as possible. It was then that started drinking Gatorade, which would prove to be a mistake later on.

Jenn’s stomach was feeling bad, and Shelly appeared to be getting a cold, so the three of us kind of quietly suffered for a while before our next runs. I was still tired, and frankly, couldn’t go to the bathroom which was also worrying me, although I had plenty of time before I had to run my last leg. That was the hardest part of the race, honestly, knowing when to eat, sleep, and poop, and being able to do those things when I needed to do them.

When Shelly started her last leg and we started driving the course to the next transition, I started to get really worried. It was hot now and her leg was really hilly and in a lot of direct sun. We kept checking on her and even switched out her water halfway through. She looked tired, but kept going like the trooper she is. She handed off to me and it was more of the same: sun, uphill, uphill in the sun. Ugh.

About 5 minutes into my run I started to not feel well. My stomach was revolting and I wasn’t sure what to do. I sipped some water that I had brought along, but honestly, I wasn’t sure if that was making it worse. The sloshing in my stomach coupled with the sloshing of the water in the bottle was really nauseating, but it was hot and I didn’t want to dump the water or to litter along the course so I just carried on. I got smoked by some kid from the Google team who said “great job. You’re doing great,” as he passed me. *sigh*

I walked for 3 minutes and bent over a few times, feeling like I was going to hurl, but nothing happened. I had this feeling like if I just puked I would be fine but my body was not having it. Instead I just suffered along for as I had been.

Finally, the road turned and I saw before me some flats and shade. Hallelujah. I started running again. I even sped up a little and everything felt a little easier. The shade really helped and instantly I started sweating. It was awesome and I have never been so happy to stink so badly. At the end of a downhill, the road turned and I had to cross traffic. A cop said, “you’re almost there. Just about 150 yards to go.”

Sweet, I thought. Bring it. And I hit the gas. I sprinted up the last little incline and slapped the bracelet on Kris’ wrist. Go, go, go!!! I yelled, smiling, while she took off. Shelly handed me a water and everyone was asking how I was, and suddenly my stomach said, OK, you’re done, turned over, and then went quiet. I ate a few pretzel rods and drank a little of the water, along with an orange, and that helped a lot.

We missed a turn while following Kris and had to backtrack to meet her at the transition, but we made it in time to cheer her on. She was feeling bad and wasn’t sure if she was going to finish her last leg or not. I offered to run with her and she thought that was a great idea.

Charene, the Johns, Jillie, Shelly and Kris were the only ones left to run so we drove to where we needed to be, saw and talked with the Unos, and then saw Jillie off for her last leg. She looked so strong and so good. I couldn’t believe she’d already run so far. She was kicking ass and our team was having a lot of fun in spite of being tired and just wanting it to be over so that we could drink beer on the beach.

The next legs were knocked off and we were almost there. I cheered and fetched for our runners, straightened up the van, and made sure everyone had what they needed. Soon we were driving back to Hampton Beach and the final leg was almost over. At the end we joined our final runner and headed into the finishing chute as a team – a sweaty, stinky, smiling, proud, and glad-to-be-finished team.

We put our medals on and walked over to Beth’s car, laughing and chatting, telling the van #1 people what we’d seen and discussing our respective course legs. Someone opened up a cooler of the Smuttynose beer (THANK YOU, SMUTTYNOSE!!!!) and I popped a Pumpkin Ale that went down great. A beer has never tasted so good, honestly.

Then it was back to the hotel, shower, dinner, sleep, and the drive home the next day.

If you’ve read this far, thanks. I appreciate it, so let me just finish with this: Reach the Beach was an amazing event for me. I really loved it, I surprised myself by how well I ran, and I hope to compete next year. It was challenging for me in the good sense, and it was harder than my half this year, but in a different way. Still, what helped me the most and what carried me through the tough spots was my team. They are the best, and I was so honored to be included.

Thanks KiCHsters Dos. You are amazing and wonderful, and you rocked it. Totally rocked it.

One of the best things about the interwebs is sites like Facebook, which has proven to be far superior to Classmates.com for reconnecting with high school friends. Even better is that many of these people are posting pictures from back then, and viewing them has been wonderful, sad, horrifying, and lovely. In viewing these photos, and then digging out my own, along with my yearbooks, I’ve come to realize that I was truly lucky and blessed to have grown up surrounded by this group. The band nerds, the smart kids, the theatre kids – these were my people – and oh, how I’ve missed them.

I know it sounds lame and weird, but I honestly want to hug them, and laugh with them, and be all remember when? It’s not because I lack friends in my life now, or because I want to relive high school (believe me, I don’t. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough). No, there is something about the memories of these friends, these awkward, kind, genuine and generous people that I still love and now miss. These were the first real friends I had, and they are special, even the ones who broke my heart (hintity-hint-hint, Smooth).

But the amazing thing – and what I love most about Facebook – is that Esther is a mom, Sandra makes gorgeous things, David B is still doing theatre, Pete’s a dad, and Andy is still making music, and I get to know all of this and email them and ask questions about their lives and their families, and learn that they are still, in many ways, the same.

The hard part is wondering how they remember me, because I know how I remember myself from my old, Ohio life, and remembering is painful. I spent part of the morning looking at old photos and my yearbooks, searching for pictures to scan, and that certainly reaffirmed that I was perceived in the same way I remember: smart, weird, nice, yet awkward. How my face burned when I read some of the notes that were written in there. Mike H wrote some hilarious things, and Dan P (who I follow on Twitter and still talk to) wrote one really nice thing, but there were also a lot of “stay weird” and “to a weird and funny chick” comments that still sting a little.

And maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s the reason I want to email my old friends and classmates, to say, Hey, I am not like that now. I’m happy and things are good. I’m pretty normal and not the way you remember me at all. Or to say, I remember you. Whatever it was you think you were, don’t be sad about it because it’s OK. You were amazing, and I liked you a lot. 

A few weeks ago I passed the two year mark at work, and yesterday I had my review, which, after about 20 minutes, turned into a brainstorming session about all the different things we could and should be doing within our design group. That was kind of cool, actually. I knew that I had done a good job this year, but I was also feeling a little out of sorts about work recently, not knowing where I was headed or where I fit in. Brainstorming with my boss really helped make me feel more… included or something. It’s hard to explain.

I sometimes feel like I am a much better idea-generating person than I am an executor of ideas, so it was fun to think about the coming months in a more holistic way, and all of the things that we could do to really show the strength of our team (apart from our client work, of course, which is very good).

I interviewed at a company a few years ago and the VP of Marketing told me that he was surprised at the way I was able to articulate the value prop and business messaging for my then current job. “Are you sure you’re not a product manager? Or an analyst,” he asked. At the time I thought, what an odd question, but now I get it. I’m starting to see where my strengths are, and they definitely align more with the business side of the house (at least part of the time), in that I’m really focused on brand immersion and the psychology of purchasing, regarding our software. And creating an on-brand, yet still usable interface is a big challenge.

The good news is that I get to be a bit of a utility infielder at my job, to move between products, marketing, and client services, and to lend a hand wherever I can. I love that about my job, if you want to know the truth. I’m just not sure what it means in terms of advancement or growth, given that we are a small company. I think this year will be a big one for us, and that I’ll have some doors open for me that maybe I never even imagined. We’ll see.

Every year, following Labor Day, I embark on a long list of projects that generally fall into the category of nesting. This autumn is no different. After Labor Day I knit, use the oven, and paint rooms. It’s my way.

Rob is away this week and I am trying to get things done so that when he returns he’ll be greeted with a clean and clutter-free house, and maybe even a freshly painted Man Zone, which could really use some help. I’d also like to do some work on my long-neglected site, and finish that scarf I’ve been “working on” for ages.

It’s annoying and difficult to be at work when your personal to-do list is a mile long. Remember when I had a 4 day work week? That was the best. Seriously, some days I would kill to be back on that schedule, and today is one of them. If I had Friday off, I could totally get a jump start on painting, run long, bake bread, and maybe even start knitting socks! Ooh!

And speaking of knitting, I passed a knitting store on my way home from the chiropractor today. I’d never noticed it before. Maybe on Saturday I’ll bike over there and check it out, after I’m finished painting.

But anyway, no, I cannot take Friday off, as much as I would like to, because RTB is next week and I’ll be off both Thursday and Friday for that. I am tired though, and being a grown up is full of woe. And sighing. Sigh and woe. ;)