The title of this post pretty much sums up everything that is going on right now.

Yesterday, I spoke with Mike at ANT. I have to say that I had heard how nice Mike was, but let me tell you, if I hadn’t been set on buying one of his gorgeous bikes, speaking with him would have sold me. What a genuine and lovely person. We spoke at length about his work, my bike, riding in Boston, and riding in general. We talked about neighborhoods and family, and trying to find the balance of rural quiet with city conveniences. It was such a nice conversation, and after it was over, I was so happy to have made my decision about this bike. I am going to go out to Holliston in two weeks, meet Mike in person, and have a little tour of the shop. And then I wait for my bike, which is going to be semi-custom and will take a little while, as Mike has a lot of bikes in his queue right now. And that’s okay. It will be worth the wait.

In the meantime, I’m riding my commuter more than ever – both to work and just around town. The new bike is steel and will be heavier than what I currently ride, so I have to become stronger and faster on the hills near me, which is how the saying goes, right? “How do I get better? Ride lots.” So I do, and I will.

Today I ran 7 at a good, strong clip. The weather was cool and in spite of my initial discomfort in the first mile (just some tight calves & sore left hamstring), it was a fantastic run through the hills of my neighborhood and the Arboretum. I ended the run feeling confident, which was awesome after the last 2 seven milers which were just okay. If I can do a strong, hilly 7, then I know I can do a flat 8 or 9 at this point, which puts me in a good position for my half in October.

After cleaning up and doing a few things around here, I rode over to Maureen’s for lunch. We ate and talked, and were joined by various neighbors as we sat outside, and then I rode home. My legs were pretty tired by the time I got back to the house. I was in a lower gear and riding very slow up the final hill. When I got off the bike, I was sweaty and ready for a nap. Three hours later, I think that is what I am going to do.

All in all though, it’s been a good couple of days. Good conversations, good riding, good running. That’s something to smile about for sure.

Today is National Running Day! I ran 3 miles at 6:30 AM to celebrate. Except that it wasn’t really celebrating, per se. More like slogging along in the humid soup that was Boston this morning. But whatever.

It finally feels like summer. And this seems funny to me because I am sitting here looking at a picture taken in mid-April, which *feels like* such a short time ago, and I’m wearing a scarf and a leather jacket. Anyway, it looks like more morning running is in my future for the next few months. Bleh. I hate morning running.

The best thing about summer, however, is being outside as much as possible. And this means lots of daylight hours in which to hike, bike, run, and talk Bo for walks. And CAMPING. Summer means camping, and oh how I love it so. Yesterday I booked a pet-friendly site for an upcoming weekend and I couldn’t be more excited. If Bo knew that we were going, he’d be excited too. :)

It’s time to take stock of my gear and see if there is anything else I need. One thing I wish I had last time was a better sleeping pad. I have one of those foam folding ones and it’s okay, but it’s not very cushiony. I think that I will let Bo use it under his bed and I’ll pick up another one at REI next weekend. I promised The Runner a trip to REI, after all.

I love REI. It’s like porn for me. Seriously, I could spend hours there looking at gear, asking questions, debating the merits of various pieces of equipment. And I am guessing that The Runner is like me in that way, too. Heh.

Had a great trip up to Burlington with Jill and a really fun time racing Vermont City Marathon as a 5-person relay team. What a fun, well-organized event. I will definitely run the race again, either as a large team, or as a 2-person team (each runner does a half marathon, which is kind of a cool way to race that distance). My teammates – some of whom I hadn’t met before Saturday – were lovely, as were their spouses & kids, and I especially enjoyed talking with Kim’s husband Nick, who is an avid cyclist.

I ran my leg in about 57 minutes, which felt good. I was a little disappointed in myself because I felt like I could have gone faster, but I made the dumb mistake of standing around for 3 hours before my leg (a half hour before the start + the 2.5 before I actually ran) and my feet and legs were pretty tired just from that. It took a full mile to work the stiffness out. And I sweated off most of my sunscreen and ended up with a pretty bad sunburn on my back and shoulders from hanging around at the finish area & then waiting for the bus to take us back to the hotel. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

With all the driving, my weekend has been pretty much all about Vermont, but I did manage to clean out a closet, put the guest room back together after having the floors refinished last week, and get most of the donations consolidated in the attic where they will be for another week or so before I can arrange to have them picked up. I just have to do a few more things and then I think I am done working for the day, and will be ready for a beer. :)

I’m leaving for Vermont today and will run the Vermont City Marathon as part of a relay team tomorrow. Our team is a little laissez-faire in that no one knows when we’re going to dinner tonight, what leg of the race we’re running, etc. And I’m okay with that. Surprisingly.

Being okay with taking things as they come is something I’ve been working on a lot over the last year. After my world collapsed in late 2008 (and continued into 2009), I’ve embraced that idea that there is very little in this life that we control, and that even the control you have only gets you so far, or brings you so much solace (i.e., not enough, really). So, I’m trying to be flexible and adaptable, and embrace change. Or, at least, try to always be looking for that silver lining.

One of the other things I’ve been working on is simplification. Today I spent some time going through my closets, pulling out clothing I haven’t worn in a while, things that don’t fit well, or things that I simply no longer like. I already have a sizable pile, and that’s not even including all the shoes, of which there are many that are sure to go. There is quite a bit of professional clothing that I plan on donating to one of the programs here that helps homeless women in transition, and the rest will go elsewhere. While it feels good to give things away to those who can use them, it also seems like such a waste to have purchased these items in the first place.

The same goes for the big bag full of yarn that I plan on giving to Jill today. I have so much yarn that I’ve purchsed for projects, only to abandon them or find that I didn’t really have the skills or time to make them. Jill’s been knitting a lot, so I know that she can use the yarn and would really appreciate it, but again, I have probably $150 of it that I’m giving to her, which means that I didn’t really need to spend that in the first place. *sigh*

But, you know, I’m letting it go, and trying to be more mindful of what I purchase in the future. And speaking of that, I’m thinking about starting to keep an illustrated journal of my day-to-day life, including what I buy (if anything). There are a few blogs that are centered around similar ideas, but this this isn’t something I’m planning on blogging about. I just want to have a paper record of my year, and also work on brushing up on my extremely rusty drawing skills, such as they are. Ironically, the first thing I will need to do is buy a Moleskin notebook in which to journal.

Anyway, I’m off to Vermont with my running gear and my giant bag of yarn. Happy Memorial Day weekend!

May has been a crazy month. There has been a little travel, a lot of running, some biking, and a lot of work going on at the house. Trees are being trimmed, floors are being refinished, and all manner of junk and baggage are being donated, freecycled, or otherwise purged. This is a good feeling. It’s spring, after all.

It hasn’t been all work, though. I visited my old college campus, I had drinks with Daniel last week, and I started doing a partial bike commute, which is kind of badass. And now it’s the 20th of the month. Already! Boy howdy. This means that Vermont City is just a week or so away now.

I still have no idea what leg of the race I’m running, other than that it’s 5.something miles. And I’m not at all worried about it, and I don’t have a race strategy, etc. This clearly proves that I am not a typical Type A runner. All I know is that Jillie and I are driving up to Burlington on Saturday and we’re coming back Sunday, and that we have a hotel room. Beyond that, I’m playing it by ear.

Anyway, here are some photos from the last few days.

Daniel and I went to Kingston Station on a rainy Tuesday night. We had these rye & some kind of ginger manhattans, and they were fantastic. Daniel is doing this bike tour from Prague to Budapest next month because he is totally badass. It was really interesting to hear about his training. Specifically his VO2 Max testing. Okay, maybe I am a little Type A.

My other thrilling news is that I just received the Po Campo rack bag that I ordered and it is swell. It’s a rack bag, but it’s also a handbag, and a good-looking one at that. The design is brilliant and one of the most functionally perfect bags I have ever seen. Here it is mounted to my Jamis which, ignoring the ugly saddle, bars, and stem, is a pretty nice bike. I think with a few modifications I could have something really great in this bike, even though it is heavy.

I’ve been riding to the Forest Hills train station where the MBTA has installed a secure bike cage as part of their Pedal & Park program. It takes me the same amount of time to get to Forest Hills on my bike as it does walking to the train near my house, and it’s way more fun. Plus, I get to ride through the Arboretum and go fast on the downhills in the morning. The commute home? Not nearly as easy with all the climbing, but so what? It’s fun to ride a bike, and I like doing the partial commute this way.

This year, I said I was going to try to put a lot more fun into my life. And so far, so good. :)

The thing about running is that just when you think you have it kind of all figured out, you have a series of bad runs that throw you for a loop and make you feel like you’re a moron for thinking you ever had it figured out in the first place. And THEN, everything does another 180-turn and is right with the world.

Tonight I had the fastest run I’ve ever had over 3 miles. AND IT WAS AWESOME. It was also unexpected, given that I was exhausted after a late night, and running on extremely tired legs after doing roughly 750,000 squats and lunges in my strength class.

Perhaps it was my incredibly crap day that turned into an unbelieveably good one. Or maybe it was the cool temps. Or that I’d eaten something 2 hours before. Or it could have been my all-Glee running mix (oh yeah, I said it). Whatever. I don’t even care. I rocked that run solid.

And now I’m going to have some ice cream, a hot shower, and a little downtime before bed. I think I’ve earned it.

Just over a week ago, I had one of the best longer runs in a while, in spite of not making it the full distance (stopped about a quarter mile short). I started off too fast, being pushed on the pace by some inner voice to “just keep up” with my running partner, although I was the one who was setting the pace.

Then, last Monday, we watched the Boston Marathon from Coolidge Corner. It was inspiring and amazing, as usual. The wheelers were rockin’ it, and the elites made it look SO easy. We saw Ryan Hall and Meb Keflezighi zoom past us. Saw my friend Bob, who ran a 3:08 and change (then followed that up with 2 marathons this past weekend, the show-off!). We didn’t get to see Jen, Maria and Missy, and Dave, who were starting much later.

And after that, I had probably the worst running week of my life. It was awful. Every run was physically and mentally exhausting. I cut a few short. I skipped one altogether.

Last night’s run was similar in that it kind of sucked, but at least my times are coming down. I gutted it out for 3.5 miles instead of my planned 5, but my pace was decent and honestly, I was just glad to be away from my desk, where it feels like I’ve been chained for the last week or so. *sigh*

Going to try for better luck tonight. We’ll see.

The last few weeks have been pretty good as far as running goes.

I’ve gotten 3 runs in every week. One easy, one tempo, and one long. The long started at 5.5 miles and is now 6. I’m going to hold that for another week or so then bump it up to 7 for a bit. Like all of my runs, there have been hills. Last Wedsnesday, I believe it was, I had probably the best run of my life – a fast 4 miles on one of my more challenging routes. I zoomed up those hills! All of those lunges and squats are paying off.

It’s been pouring rain here for the last few days, not to mention the 40+ mph wind gusts and flooding. All of this forced me to run inside on the treadmill today for my 6 miler. Grrr. I hate the treadmill and I’m so BORED the entire time. Even with music on, rocking out, I am bored out of my mind. So I started daydreaming, which was fine until I nearly fell off the treadmill. Whoops.

I still don’t have much on my calendar for the year; just the Vermont City Marathon (relay team), and Reach the Beach. My friend Jeff and I had been kicking around the idea of doing a race together (perhaps a marathon, and if not that, a half) in the fall, but everything is kind of up in the air with his life anyway, so I don’t know.

All I know is that I think this is going to be my year. I’m running better than ever, and so far there are no back and foot problems. I’m stronger from the weight training. I’m thinner by almost 10 lbs. I just feel good about everything, which is a nice feeling that I want to hold on to for a little while.

Well, nice as long as I don’t have to run on the treadmill. *sigh*

So, it’s been over a year since I’ve written here. I wish I could say it’s because I’ve been having so much fun and that Rob and I have been too busy working on our house, but that’s not what happened.

You know how, sometimes often, life doesn’t work out the way you planned? Or, as Joan Didion wrote, “Life changes fast. Life changes in an instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.”

Without getting into a lot of detail, Rob and I had an awful year last year… and we split up. Then we were trying to work it out. Then we were really done and he moved out. Then we tried again. And now I don’t really know where we are, other than that we love each other very much, but maybe that’s not enough. It’s not enough for me, anyway. I won’t speak for him.

In the midst of this, I also lost all three of my remaining grandparents. I changed jobs, took over our mortgage, and tried to put my life back together. I cried a lot, and ran a lot. Bo was my constant companion, and proved that dogs really can be your best friend, and help heal your heart.

In July, I went to Italy. I dated someone great. He broke up with me. I worked my ass off. I ran Reach the Beach with a fantastic team of friends. I worked some more. Maureen & I dressed as synchonized swimmers for Halloween. I hosted Thanksgiving for friends this year instead of Rob’s family. I went to Denmark instead of Cleveland for Christmas.  I celebrated New Year’s in Copenhagen with Amy & Jill, lighting off fireworks and drinking my face off, and felt so blessed to have wonderful people in my life.

And now it’s 2010, and I’m still trying to figure out what to do. Mostly, however, I would like to stop feeling stuck, and I think I will do pretty much anything to make that happen at this point.

I’m starting the process toward making a career change. I might sell my house. I might run the Chicago Marathon. There are many things I *could* do, and that’s the main thing. I have choices, and I’m very lucky.

I’ve been talking to an old friend, and there has been a lot of clarity in that. He’s inspiring and amazing and kind. Again, I am lucky. So lucky. So blessed.

Life changes fast. Life changes in an instant. And all you can do is pick yourself up and move forward. Get unstuck. Keep moving. Keep running

Monday mornings are always hard. Monday mornings after a long run and skating for an hour are brutal. Ow. But on the other hand, YAY for half marathon training.

Sunday was great though. Maureen came over and we did my flat 8-mile route, which is far more manageable than my 6-7 mile hilly routes through Newton, and we beat the rain, too. Superior!

After she left, I ate some cereal with soy milk, took a shower, made myself some vegetable cous cous soup, and followed it up with a loooooong nap. When I woke up it was nearly time to get myself together for skating. My legs felt a little tired, but nothing too bad.

Skating was fun, as usual. I still kind of suck, but at least I’m not falling, and the people in my group are all very nice. They laugh at me when I clap and cheer for them. I can’t help it though; that’s just who I am. But holy hell. All that sculling. NOT great after an 8 mile run. My legs were shaking by the end of the hour, and the walk back to the car was all wobbly.

Fast forward to now and I am sore, sore, sore, but in a good way. Plus, I got to eat ice cream last night after all those calories burned. Totally earned it.